SUMMER BLUES

Striped Shirt | Bikini Top | Halter Mini Dress | Woven Basket | Beaded Necklace | Flip Flops | Paisley Mini Dress | Bikini Bottoms | Beaded Bag | Blue Jeans | Sequin Shorts | Jenga

GOLDEN HOUR BROWNS

Spaghetti Mini Dress | Shell Necklace | Sunglasses | Gold Trousers | Scarf Top | Checkerboard Hat | Woven Slingbacks | Striped Shorts | Coral Scarf | Wrap Dress | Checkered Pouch Bag | Brown Sandals

PURE WHITES

Fringe Top | Silk Fridge Dress | Pearl Tassel Necklace | Pearl Earrings | Strapless Swimsuit | Beaded Bag | Silver Wedge Sandals | Swirl Mini Dress

LUSH GREENS

Silk Trousers | Pale Silk Trousers | Beaded Necklace | Beaded Green Mini Dress | Strapless Maxi Dress | August Cap | Woven Basket | Silk Shorts | Bikini Top | Flip Flops

BABY BLUES

Shell Necklace | Scarf Dress | Sunglasses | Paisley Scarf | Beaded Necklace | Raffia Bag | Beaded Sandals

BARBIE SUMMER

Polka Dot Sarong | Fish Comb | Pink Embellished Pant | Sunhat | Floral Mini Dress | Beaded Phone Strap | Brown & Red Chain Bag | Red Pant | Wired Basket | Crochet Mini Dress | Shell Earrings | Pink Shorts

MONOCHROME

Shell Halter Top | Shell Choker | Leather and Silver Pendant Necklace | Layered Silk Dress | Studded Earrings | Laser Cut Dress | Beaded Necklace | Black and White Dress | Netted Lace Shoes | Beaded Silk Pouch Bag | Cream Sandals | Wrap Trousers

LITTLE BLACK EVERYTHING

Shell Strapped Mini Dress | Beaded Halter Top | Floating Necklaces | Polka Dot Dress | Silk Halter Top | Sheer Embellished Skirt | Sheer Embellished Shoes | Bikini 1 | Bikini 2 | Bikini 3 | Strappy Sandals

My parents thought it was a bad idea. Other people were hesitant. Even I had my doubts. New York City is hardly a dog’s playground and it breaks my heart daily to see dogs whose owners seem to think two laps around the block constitutes exercise.

I was determined not to be that owner. One hour in the morning, one hour in the evening, and at least half an hour at lunch was my minimum commitment. My office sits directly below our apartment, so it would be with me all day. After convincing my husband - and myself - we found the most perfect, squishy, roly-poly puppy and brought her home. It was even better than I imagined.

A few months later, we bought a house Upstate, complete with fields, woods and a creek. Suddenly, life felt pretty complete. Five years on, it is.

Life with Boots is easy. She slots into every part of it so naturally. I’ve never known a love quite like the one I have for that dog. But I’ve always wanted another. For years I’ve teased my husband, sent him endless Labrador memes, casually enquired about rescues and adoption centres. The dream of my little puddle of Labradors never really went away.

So when I came across a Labrador on the Hudson Paws Dog Rescue website a few weeks ago, I looked - and looked again. I tried to put him out of my mind. Then, last weekend, we happened to drive past the rescue and I spotted him playing in the yard. I made my husband turn the car around and we got out to say hello.

That weekend I begged and pleaded.

A few days later, knowing my husband was away for the weekend, I arranged for a 24-hour trial sleepover. As I write this, Apollo is asleep downstairs in my kitchen next to Boots for reassurance. He’s only been here five hours and I already know he’s not going to stay. Thirty minutes ago I was lying on the floor sobbing into his face while he rested his enormous jowls on my chest, absorbing every ounce of my sadness as I told him I wasn’t going to be his mum.

God, how I wish I could be. This boy, and so many others like him. Including the dog I met when I collected Apollo this afternoon - surrendered by his family after three years together because he had suddenly become “too much”.

I will never understand that.

Perhaps that’s because Boots and I built our life together. Every version of my life over the last five years has been shaped with her in mind - and vice versa. Every decision expanded around her because she was already at the centre of it. Had Boots turned out to be anxious or difficult, it wouldn’t have mattered. We would have adapted because we were building a life together.

Apollo is different. He isn’t arriving at the beginning of our story - or even his. We’re meeting halfway through both of our stories.

Tonight, I’m grieving for two reasons. Firstly, because I feel like I’m failing this dog. I am. Secondly, because I always thought that if the opportunity arose, I’d do the noble thing - open my home, make it work, figure it out. I thought that wanting to help would be enough. But it turns out it’s much easier to imagine being that person than it is to actually be them.

The reality is that I can’t give Apollo the life he needs - or perhaps more accurately, Apollo and I are meeting too late. Had he arrived five years ago, before building this life that now runs at pace, perhaps this would be a different story. But we’re not meeting at the beginning. We’re meeting in the middle.

Apollo is anxious. He’s pacing. He’s unsettled. All entirely understandable for a dog spending his first night in a stranger’s home. But watching him, I know something in my gut. He is not built for a life that moves weekly between a city apartment and a house in Hudson, punctuated by doggy camp whenever we travel. Boots thrives in that life because it’s all she’s ever known.

At seven years old, Apollo’s life has been different. All he’s known is people leaving. Being dropped off and not being picked back up again. And tomorrow, I am going to become another person who didn’t choose him. I hate myself for that.

As I lie here in bed, tears still streaming down my face, part of me wishes I’d never met him. That my dream had remained exactly that: a dream. Because dreams are often easier to stomach than reality.

I suspect I will carry guilt about Apollo for a very long time. I will wonder if I gave up too quickly. I will imagine alternate versions of this story where I kept him and somehow made it work.

Apollo, I’m so sorry.

And so, on the off chance that the right person happens to read this: if you’re Upstate and looking for a big, slightly goofy, desperately lovable Labrador (with what I suspect is a healthy helping of Great Dane), please consider him. He deserves a calm, structured, consistent life with someone who can show him that being loved doesn’t have to be temporary.

You’ll be rescuing a beautiful soul. Somewhere tonight, I’m hoping that what feels like the end of my dream is actually the beginning of his.

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Nihi Sumba, Indonesia

I sent my brother here on his honeymoon and I’m annoyed I never took the opportunity to visit when we were living in South East Asia. Perched on the remote western edge of Indonesia’s Sumba Island, its untouched coastline, surf culture, wild horses and immersive approach to wellness and local community connection is what is calling me!

Hotel Esencia, Mexico

I think I might be one of only a few left of my NYC friendship group NOT to have visited (despite having facilitated stays for a few of them!). Everyone raves about it - an effortlessly chic beachfront hideaway on Mexico’s Riviera Maya, known for its hacienda-style architecture, and serene atmosphere set between jungle and sea. Some of the newer spaces have been designed by Giancarlo Valle, which has only intensified my need to go!

Claridge’s, London

Is there a more iconic hotel institution in London than Claridge’s? Being from the capital, it was never really somewhere I considered staying, but now that I return to the UK more as a tourist in my own city, it suddenly feels like time to upgrade afternoon tea to an overnight stay. A Mayfair grande dame that blends old-world Art Deco glamour with contemporary British luxury, Claridge’s remains the gold standard for impeccable service, storied history, and sense of occasion. And, of course, there’s the Lobster Wellington.

Fogo Island Inn, Canada

Fogo Island Inn has been on my list for nearly a decade, ever since friends visited and first put it on my radar. I’ve followed and researched it obsessively ever since, but earlier this year, I had the pleasure of meeting founder Zita Cobb — an encounter that has only solidified my reasons for going. She’s deeply impressive. Perched dramatically on the rugged coast of Newfoundland, Fogo Island Inn is a striking, community-rooted retreat celebrated for its contemporary design, hyper-local hospitality, and profound connection to the island’s landscape, culture, and wildlife.

Nour El Nil, Egypt

Does a boat count? I think so. Cruising is having a moment. A lot of new travel products have arrived on the Nile but Nour El Nil still stands out for me. It’s the interiors mostly, and those enchanting old-worldly photos that’s have me convinced. I’ve done Egypt before but this is a far more romantic way — a small fleet of beautifully handcrafted dahabiyas that drift quietly along the Nile, complete with candlelit dinners, desert landscapes, and a complete absence of modern intrusion.

The Point, Adirondacks

I grew up going to Summer Camp in the Adirondacks on a connecting lake to Saranac. My parents stayed here one summer whilst visiting and I don’t think they’ve really ever stopped talking about it since. Ignore their very dated website, this is an ultra-exclusive lakeside retreat in one of the US’ largest national parks originally built as a Rockefeller Great Camp, where rustic grandeur, black-tie dinners, and deeply personalized hospitality create one of America’s most storied properties.

Chesa Marchetta, Switzerland

The newest hotel on my list, and the latest property from Artfarm - the same hospitality group behind The Fife Arms (over on the list of top hotels I HAVE stayed at!). Chesa Marchetta is an intimate, family-run alpine hideaway in St. Moritz, celebrated for its understated Swiss charm. My Swiss childhood has me very nostalgic for a visit here.

Soneva, Maldives

I’m not really the ‘resort’ kind of gal, but is Soneva a ‘resort’? They call themselves one, but I’m not sure this level of luxury deserves that tagline. Quite frankly, I’m not even too fussed about which one I go to. Soneva Secret sounds incredible, Soneva Jani looks the most picturesque (and I’ve heard is the best), and Soneva Fushi is the OG and twice Best Hotels winner. Any suggestions welcome!

Holmen Lofoten, Norway

I’ve been hankering after Norway for a while now. Its lakes in the summer, its orcas in the winter. Storfjord and Union Øye have been on my radar since some friends visited a year or so ago, but more off the beaten path, it’s Holmen Lofoten that I’ve got my eye on. Holmen Lofoten is a remote Arctic retreat in Norway’s Lofoten Islands, where restored fishermen’s cabins, Nordic design, and dramatic sea-and-mountain landscapes come together. It’s all about the food here and I’m desperate to try their ‘kitchen on the edge’ series.

Safari, various

I’ve been lucky enough to have grown up safari-ing - South Africa, Tanzania, Botswana - but never Kenya, actually. I’ve also married into an African-mad family; my in-laws go off into the bush for weeks at a time - so I like to think I’m pretty well-versed when it comes to safari. The best safari I’ve ever done was Ulusaba (reopening in April 2027) in Kruger, but that was nearly 30 years ago, so admittedly, the place has probably changed. The place I’ve done the most is Tanzania. I’m a girl who likes a bit (ok, a lot) of luxury but I also want my safari to feel authentic - more camp-style, less five-star hotel room. From Singita to Wilderness Safaris, to Nomad Tanzania to &Beyond, there’s so much to see, and so many operators that get it right. I can’t choose between:

Singita Mara River Tented Camp

&Beyond’s Ngala Tented Camp

Wilderness Usawa Serengeti

&Beyond’s Ngorongoro Crater camp is closed for a full refurbishment so watch this space.

Would love to hear your thoughts.

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Simple, classic candlesticks. Timeless enough to work with any candle, for any table, in any home. You will always find a use for them.

A framed, iconic black-and-white print. It will work in every house you ever live in.

Silver swan placecard holders. Hosting escalates with age.

White love-heart linens. Crisp, romantic. There is no such thing as too many beautiful white napkins.

Silver butter knives. At some point you develop strong opinions about butter.

A silver keepsake box. For the things you can’t throw away.

A yellow “happiness” notebook. Optimistic, practical - for a lifestyle of happiness.

A silver and gold turtle salt holder. Entirely unnecessary - until you own one.

An oversized box of matches. The perfect gift for the couple who claim to have everything, but still need to light candles.

A love box. Sweet. On theme. Best suited to a younger couple leaning into the novelty of marriage.

A roll-up backgammon board. Ten years on, it’s still the first thing I pack on vacation. This is one of the best things someone could have got us.

A Murano vase. Can’t. Go. Wrong. Fill with flowers for added impact.

Shell martini coupes. You will receive a heroic amount of glassware. These at least stand out from the crowd.

Shell napkin holders. If you’re committing to a theme, you may as well do it properly.

Mother-of-pearl salt and pepper grinders. They’ll always go on any table setting.

Mother-of-pearl seafood picks. Entirely niche. Completely chic.

A velvet bed quilt. Ours has never left the bed - which is about the strongest endorsement I can give.

White linen bedsheets. Genuinely one of the best wedding gifts. Everyone needs them, and good ones feel wildly indulgent.

Breakfast-in-bed trays (x two). Newlywed mornings were practically invented for this.

Matching carafe and glass. For all future guests.

A beautiful book tied to a place they love. Personal without being complicated.

Mr & Mrs throw pillows. It’s bang on theme.

A matching luggage set. A level of adult sophistication I still aspire to. Consider this a public hint.

A solid marble pestle and mortar. Heavy, practical, faintly aspirational. It will outlast most kitchens you own.

Tray - Barware is expensive enough that most people don’t buy it for themselves - which makes it a genuinely luxurious gift. A good tray will be used constantly.

A stainless steel aperitivo set. Ideal for olives, nuts, and anything else.

A beautiful glass vase. No explanation needed.

An ice — or champagne — bucket with matching glasses. Timeless, useful.

Small, thin-stemmed martini coupes. With age comes better martinis - and the understanding that smaller glasses keep them colder (and stronger).

Striped beach towels. I wish someone had bought us a set of beach towels. Striped beach towels (any colourway) will always get used. Make sure you buy a set!

A good game. This is a beautiful, slightly indulgent pétanque set - something everyone can play.

“Honey, you’re the bee’s knees” wall plate. We started with one and somehow now have a collection. Cheerful, collectible.

An everyday dinner plate set. Nothing too precious. Fine china rarely leaves the cupboard - get ones that actually live on the table.

Baguette ceramics. Perfect for the playful host.

A sharp steak knife set. This would be top 3 gifts someone could have got us.

A ceramic centrepiece. Endlessly useful.

Espresso cups. If you’re someone who likes things to coordinate, this is deeply satisfying.

A proper caviar dish. I’m quite partial to a caviar night. I would have loved a dedicated dish.

Elaborate champagne coupes. For special occasions.

Silver place cards. For all future dinner parties.

A proper dinner cutlery set. An excellent wedding gift — and one you’ll be grateful for years later. Just remember they’ll need at least eight sets.

White French lace linen napkins. Reliable, elegant, and impossible to get wrong.

Embroidered linen napkins with playful slogans. A lighter take on table dressing for hosts who don’t take it all too seriously.

A cake plate. Another thing you’ll realize you need as you get older!

A ceramic egg holder. At some stage you will either own chickens or romanticise the idea. Eggs on display make a kitchen feel oddly complete.

Another beautiful vase. Because, why not?

A timeless tablecloth (not entirely white). It forgives stains and ages far more gracefully.

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When it comes to mastering those svelte, effortless folds of leather, Elly McGaw remains my number one style icon.

ARMA Oversized Suede Jacket (drooling!)

Cropped Suede Jacket in Tan

Navy Leather Trench

Fringe Leather Jacket (someone PLEASE buy me this!)

Chocolate Suede Jacket

Contrast Stitch Wrap Trench

Shirt Jacket (I own this in several colourways)

Chocolate Skirt

FRAME Cord Flares

Houndstooth Skirt

Red Column Jeans

Wrap Skirt

Leather Straight Skirt

Leather Balloon Pant

More Balloon Pants

Suede Clogs

Suede Ballet Sneaker

Classic Black Flip Flops

Satin Pump

Miu Miu Loafers (also on the wishlist please!)

Black Leather Mules

Suede Boat Shoes

Shearling Ballet Slipper

Netted Suede Loafers

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Conveniently, I love talking about it. I am - unapologetically - a hotel junkie. A details obsessive. A service snob.

So here it is. In alphabetical order (no teacher’s pets here), my top ten hotels I’ve ever stayed in.

A caveat: this is entirely subjective. I’m not drawn to resorts or anything overly corporate. I tend to lean toward the idiosyncratic - places with soul, personality, a slightly ‘homemade’ feel. They aren’t all the most expensive (some are, yes); that’s not the point.

For me, it’s about a feeling. A certain kind of magic. The places that stay with you long after you’ve left…

1.) Amangiri, USA

It would be hard to build a hotel in the middle of the Utah/Arizona desert and not be blown away by the surroundings - but the way Amangiri preserves and celebrates its location deserves serious credit. There’s no distracting art. No colour. No noise. The scenery and the light do the talking.

Huge rectangular cut-outs in concrete walls perfectly frame rock formations. Open slats in the ceiling cast precise geometric shadows that move throughout the day.

And then there’s the service. Many of the team have tenure at Aman’s Asian properties - and nowhere does service quite like Asia.

Photo credit: Wall Street Journal

2.) Capelongue, France

While Les Roches Rouges may be the jewel in Beaumier’s crown, my heart belongs to Capelongue in Bonnieux. Provence, but without the cliché.

Beautiful rooms. Lush gardens. A Michelin-starred restaurant balanced by a more relaxed bistro. A spa that feels like the tunnels of an ancient fort. And sweeping views that stretch for miles at breakfast.

This is a place to do very little!

3.) The Fife Arms, Scotland

Possibly the most characterful hotel I’ve ever stayed in. The rooms are maximalist and magnificent. The art collection - owned by Hauser & Wirth - is extraordinary. But it’s the small touches that make it sing.

Brilliantly branded paperware. Tartan food wraps. A jar of jam handed to us at check-out because we waxed lyrical about it following our picnic.

On the “must return” list.

4.) Heckfield Place, England

So many English country hotels feel slightly incomplete or lean into the “charming” BnB style. Heckfield Place does neither.

The rooms are immaculate. The food is sensational. And perhaps most impressively, everything is exactly where it intuitively should be (you’d be amazed how rarely that happens).

With the arrival of its spa, it completes what I believe England has long needed: a truly knock-out country hotel. Oh and I had a bowl of life-changing pasta here!

Photo credit: Condé Nast Traveler

5.) Masseria Moroseta, Italy

Down a dirt road, set amongst olive groves and Puglian farmland, lies Masseria Moroseta. This isn’t grand luxury - and that’s precisely the point.

It’s the hotel you imagine creating in your dreams. Whitewashed walls. Long communal tables. Slow mornings. Some of the best breakfasts you’ll ever have… But, you’ll never be able to make it as good. There’s an inexplicable magic here.

Unpretentious. Unspoiled. Utterly charming. Which, for someone who doesn’t love Puglia, was quite a feat!

Oh and there’s Angelina - the British bulldog who acts as unofficial host.

6.) Mnemba Island, Zanzibar

Mnemba may forever be my benchmark for perfect island hospitality. One of the most beautiful places on earth - and the place where I ticked off a lifelong dream: swimming with wild dolphins.

Zanzibar is no secret anymore, and dolphin tourism is heavily commercialised. But thanks to Mnemba’s protected marine reserve, our experience was private, respectful and completely magical.

I can’t have favorites, but if I did… Spoilt for life.

7.) North Island, Seychelles

The diversity of wildlife on and off shore at North Island is unlike anywhere else I’ve seen in the world. Accessed by helicopter, North Island sits in the middle of the Indian Ocean and feels almost defiantly untouched. (No wonder the Prince and Princess of Wales honeymooned here.)

Giant tortoises roam freely. Turtle nesting and hatchlings are almost daily occurrences. The marine life is extraordinary - my top three dives of all time were here.

It’s rare to experience a hotel where there’s no trace of tourism - no sense of human life beyond its shoreline.

8.) Palm Heights, Grand Cayman

Grand Cayman wouldn’t top my destination list - but Palm Heights absolutely delivers.

Large, beautifully designed suites. Food you actually want to eat on holiday. A lovely stretch of beach. And a crowd that gives it energy at the right time and in the right moment.

I spent an entire afternoon swimming alongside a turtle who accompanied me on my daily long-distance swim.

I haven’t returned since the spa opened - which I hear only elevates it further. A perfect NYC long-weekend escape (Substack on that coming soon).

9.) Sterrekopje, South Africa

I’ve wanted to visit Sterrekopje since the moment I discovered it on Instagram, sought out the owner and begged her to work with us. I finally made it there in February and it did not disappoint. In fact, I’m not sure I’ve ever cried leaving a hotel? Sterrekopje is less hotel, more philosophy.

Every corner is so beautifully designed and thoughtfully considered. From the daily Bath House experiences (all included as part of your stay) to the herbs left by my bath at turn down for my evening soak (bathing might be my love language).

Oh and then there’s the pigs, the donkeys, the horses, the duck, the chickens, the dogs. I’ve never felt happier! Here, everyone knows your name and nothing is too much. It is a living, breathing sanctuary. Be prepared to be given your ‘schedule’ - it operates more like a retreat - but I promise, you won’t be mad about being so diligently programmed.

Sterrekopje, I love you.

10.) Villa Lario, Italy

The antidote to the larger, more Americanised hotels on Lake Como. An 18-suite property set in a former Lombardi family home, Villa Lario is intimate and elegant - and doesn’t try too hard.

In my opinion, it also offers the best views of Lake Como to the north and south of any hotel in the region. You could go here for the views alone!

There’s a reason we return year after year.

So, there you have it. Would love to hear about your favourite too.

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In an industry built on parties, launches, dinners, trips, collaborations and activations, many of us seem to have misplaced our manners. The bottom line is simple: it’s rude. The actual bottom line? Your drop‑out is costing someone a small fortune.

It’s relentless. I get it. Your babysitter cancelled. It’s raining. You’re tired. You’re sick. You put the wrong date in your calendar. You can’t be bothered. A better invitation came up. You got your period. *Insert excuse here*.

None of that changes the fact that you’ve just cost someone - who, let’s be honest, you probably don’t know all that well - a lot of money.

In case you’ve fallen victim to event fatigue, let me break this down. This is conservative. I’m talking about a low‑key brand dinner for around 25 people. Yes, we’ve done them for less. More often than not, they cost far more.

Let’s go chronologically.

A client decides they want an event. Either they have an agency on retainer or they hire one specifically for this: $10,000+ in fees for the month.

We secure a venue: $3,000–$5,000.

Invitation design: $300

Food, drinks, staff, service, tax and tip: $300 per head.

Florals and tablescape: $5,000.

Brand gift: $100 per head.

Menus and printing: $500.

Place cards / calligraphy: $500.

Photographer: $2,500.

Before anyone has taken a sip of wine, if you RSVP’d “yes”, your seat is already worth $1,176 per person.

That’s the baseline.

If it’s a trip, take the total budget, divide it by a much smaller guest list, multiply it by the number of nights, then add flights, transfers, entertainment and activities. You don’t need me to finish the math - you get the gist!

To put it another way: I recently produced an event where the per‑head cost was $5,000 (and that’s before any hotel rooms or programming). We had six same‑day drop‑outs. Two I realised during cocktail hour. Two others three hours before guests arrived. Two the morning of.

The reasons? (And to be clear, these are people I genuinely admire - this is observation, not judgement. Mostly.)

One couple cited a newborn - an entirely understandable reality - just not exactly a last‑minute surprise when the invitation had been accepted weeks earlier.. One couple ‘changed plans’. Another couple’s babysitter got the flu.

A week before the event? Eight dropped out. Yes, good publicists anticipate attrition. That is not the point.

The point is this: that’s tens of thousands of dollars gone, wiped out by a casual email, often with little remorse - and usually after endless follow‑ups.

It happens. Of course it does. But not at the rate it’s happening now, and not across every event.

So, to those ‘lucky’ enough to make the guest list: please, just be more mindful. Before you say yes, pause for ten seconds and ask yourself: do you actually want to be there? Will you cancel if something better comes up? What does your day look like? What does the next day look like? Is it realistic that you’ll show up? Are you waiting to see who else is going?

If the answer to any of the above gives you pause, say no. Truly. You’ll make everyone’s life easier.

And for the record:

You are never the only one. Yes, it does make a difference. No, we can’t fill your seat a few days out. Yes, we do mind.

Repeat offenders? There is, very much, ‘a list’.

To the people who show up time and time again: we see you. We appreciate you. Thank you.

We all do it. I’m guilty too. But if we each took an extra minute to honestly assess whether we’re actually going to show up - and respected the real cost behind these invitations - we might make this industry feel a little less entitled, and a lot more human.

And finally, for some dark comedy - a greatest‑hits reel from years gone by.

Ahead of an international trip - after the flight cancellation window had passed - someone dropped out of a long‑haul trip. The email was breathtakingly casual. $3,000 gone instantly, before her hotel room or anything else.

I replied politely (very happy to show you the email!), asking whether she or a brand she worked with might have another use for the ticket. It was changeable (not refundable), but only in her name. Her agent - who had been entirely absent throughout the booking process - responded with: “Life happens.”

They’ve found themselves at the top of said list!

1.) Dog Collar - For anyone with a beloved canine companion (or, frankly, for your own). A fresh collar to usher in the new year feels like exactly the kind of reset our four-legged friends deserve.

2.) Chocolate Cashmere Beanie - I tried this on in store and instantly fell in love. Soft and rich; a daily grab n’ go.

3.) Personalised Lids - For the condiment-obsessed in your life (enter: my husband and ketchup). A playful upgrade for daily addictions.

4.) Teddy Mittens - Mittens over gloves this season. Cosier, softer, and far more charming.

5.) Red Tights - Consider this your invitation to graduate from red socks to the red-tight era. Perfect with a little cream, sparkly number.

6.) Stars & Shells Cocktail Sticks - A small hit of sunshine as the evenings draw in. Ideal for festive drinks and winter hosting.

7.) Chocolate Suede Boots - I own these in black and adore them: perfect chunk, perfect height, perfect toe. I spotted them in brown suede this morning and they went straight to the top of my list. Very ‘The Row’ (at a fraction of the price!).

8.) Small(ish) Shell Dish - I’ve been after one of these for years. I plan to keep one by the bath for salts, potions, and all the good things. Equally good in the kitchen for Malden Sea Salt or a serving dish.

9.) Pearl Phone Chain - Pearls, white, cream, beading - it’s all having a moment. A selfie-friendly addition to your seasonal outfits.

10.) Grey Scarf - Not basic at all. In this generous width, it becomes a statement layer over just about any jacket.

I’m signing off for the holidays, so a very Happy Christmas from me! X

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And let me be clear: I either already own or desperately want every single item here.

Happy shopping!

FOR THE HOMEY

Stainless Steel Coffee Mugs – I don’t even drink coffee, yet I want these. That says everything.

Candle Sconce – I already own this in blue, but given my red obsession this year… well, you can see where this is going.

PJs – So many good options—for men and women. Truly impossible to go wrong.

Crackers – Such a wonderfully English tradition, and I’m thrilled there’s finally a chic version available stateside. A perfect (and fun) hostess gift.

Marled Bowl – Beautifully crafted, and the kind of one-off piece every home deserves to have.

Number 3 – I spotted these door/house numbers in T List earlier this year and haven’t stopped thinking about them.

Wish Cards – So simple, so lovely, so easy to tuck into a stocking.

Shearling Flip-Flops – I get a bit hot in full furry slippers so this has all the pleasure of a slipper with the ease of a flip flop. Yes, please!

Candle – You can actually scribe your own message on these which makes gifting a candle a renewed luxury.

Ceramic Matchbox – A brilliant gift for someone you don’t know all that well - or someone you’re trying to impress. They have lots of options and designs too.

FOR THE FOODIE

Chef’s Knife – Japanese, of course. Only the best will do.

Pizza Oven – Tried, tested, and an absolute staple in our house. This one is the perfect size.

Chocolate – I adore all these weird and wonderful flavours. Mix-and-match a few for a little gift set.

Portable Bar Fridge – For the outdoor host(ess) in your life. Truly such a good gift. And they have a larger size coming soon…

Rolling Pin – Just very chic. Mine is currently broken - so this is also a hint.

Wall Plate – I’m in my wall-plate-collecting era, and I love this one. Titled “Fish, no chips.”

Olive Oil & Balsamic – So simple, so effective, so delicious. I own them and use them daily.

Salt & Pepper Mills – Beautifully crafted from locally-sourced solid maple wood. Each one is completely unique.

Cookbook – Is there anywhere on earth better than King? Your home version won’t taste quite the same - but it’s worth the attempt.

Cap – For any Americans reading: the word “Tart” means… many things. I’ll let Google take it from here.

FOR THE BATHER

Jetlag Patches – I don’t actually need to be jetlagged to use mine.

Tallow Soap – It’s all the rage - and the hype is justified.

Face Oil – I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: one of my all-time favourite products. Ever.

Candle – My most beloved perfume brand has finally released candle versions of their scents. I have a feeling they’re going to be divine when lit.

Gift Card – Whether it’s one FaceGym session or a full bundle, you truly can’t go wrong.

Bath Oil – Same as above. A forever favourite.

Body Oil – Another brand I buy on repeat. Some things simply aren’t worth switching.

Roz – The best shampoo and conditioner I’ve used. They also do really lovely gift sets.

Body Cleaner – SO excited to try this from my friend Sharmadean. She’s built such a beautiful brand with the most intriguing scents.

Bath Salts – I go through these far too quickly. Always worth a restock and beautifully presented in a glass apothecary vessel.

FOR THE STOCKINGS

Nipple Covers – Ladies, this is my top secret. Trust me. Just do it. You can thank me later for giving you 20-year-old boobs.

Pinch Pot – I love a good pinch pot for a beautifully laid table. So much chicer than grinders.

Stockings – Apparently white tights are making a comeback. You can never have too many pairs, and I love the variety here.

Personalized Leather Bookmark – So special and so sentimental. I have a long list of people who will be getting one.

Flower Frog – I still don’t own a frog, but I feel like I need about ten of them.

Cigarette Pot – Newly added to my shopping cart! I always offer cigarettes at events, so this feels perfect. A little cheeky, too.

Secateurs – Only the best for the pro - or budding - gardeners in your life. These are incredibly beautiful.

Boxers – I constantly steal my husband’s boxers, so having my own set (or five) would be very useful. They come in a great range of colours / prints.

Zodiac Chocolates – I’m not especially spiritual, but the detail on these is spectacular. One for the star-sign enthusiasts.

Salad Servers – Mother-of-pearl salad servers. What’s not to love?

FOR THE INVESTOR

Black Velvet PJs – Is there anything sexier? And no, I can’t promise I’d keep these strictly indoors.

Ring Stack – Three rings in one from my favourite jewellery brand. I love the richness and weight of this stack.

Travel Bag – My mild OCD could not ignore this when I spotted a friend with it over the summer. Straight onto my list it went.

Shearling Coat – Reversible. Two for the price of one. Need I say more?

Earrings – I adore a statement earring - and these absolutely qualify.

Jewellery Box – This was at the top of my list last year, but I pivoted last minute. I’ve been patiently waiting for this Christmas ever since.

Dress – Dôen makes such good party dresses. This one is coming back into stock soon, so act fast.

Books – I’ve collected these destination books for years. A set of three or five from places someone’s been is such a lovely, thoughtful gift.

Necklace – This has been firmly on my list for a while. I love the chunkiness and the scale.

Shearling Hat – I have this in brown and it’s one of my most asked-about items. Here it is in timeless black.

Happy Holidays! x

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I’ll keep the details brief but in essence, someone who I admire/admired (still not sure how I’m feeling!), made a comment to someone close to me, wondering aloud whether I was “trying to be an influencer.”

Let’s pause there. Because there are two things wrong with that sentence:

1. Trying.

2. Influencer.

1.) “Trying”

The word ‘trying’ is what struck me first. Yes, I’m trying. I’m trying in everything I do. Trying to the point of exhaustion this year. Trying to the point of near burn-out. I’m trying to satisfy all aspects of my life. I am a TRYER. I work hard. I wear a lot of hats. Surely, that’s something to be admired?

So why did it land like an insult? Because in that context, it implied that I was not succeeding; an air of desperateness to me.

2.) “Influencer”

Am I trying to be an ‘influencer’? No.

Am I trying to be influenTIAL? Absolutely.

Aren’t we all? I don’t call this being an influencer; I call this being a founder. A businesswoman. That’s literally my job description; I put brands, products and people out into the world.

My business exists to make brands seen, understood and desired - it’s about influence. I love my clients. Their products, their stories, their missions. I want to share them, I want to promote them, I want to be proud of them - and of us as a business. Beyond my clients, I have friends running brilliant companies that I’m thrilled to support, brands that have supported us, or that could be useful for future collaborations. When I post something - whether it’s a client’s hotel, a friend’s new collection, or just a piece of clothing from a brand who could end up partnering with someone we represent - that’s not (always) self-promotion. That’s strategy.

I share because it feels right to do so.

And also, I enjoy it! I’m not saying I only do this for the benefit of my work. Writing this Substack is cathartic - a form of therapy for me. It’s also fun occasionally taking a creative spin to it - and to Instagram. I’ve always loved fashion - not obsessively, but I indulge - and sometimes, yes, I just want to show off a little. Sometimes, it is complete self-gratification. I’m only human.

Do I think I’m an influencer? No.

Do I want to be one? Also no. (I’ll leave that to the OGs).

Do I hope, by now, that I have some influence? I f*cking hope so - otherwise, what’s the point?

But also - don’t bite the hand that feeds you. The comment made “influencer” sound like a dirty word, when in reality, this person’s own business relies on them. They court influencers, collaborate with them, and celebrate when they post - heck, in the context of their comment, they’re an influencer themselves.

The more I’ve turned this comment over in my head, the more I find myself wanting to ask the person in question: how many times have you asked me for an introduction, a favour, a connection? Indeed, how many times have I posted your brand? Did it ever occur to you that those very names and brands might be the ones I’m championing on Instagram or here on Substack?

Maybe the issue isn’t the content I share, but the fact that my trying - and yes, my posting - might have subsequently made me just the tiniest bit influential and that’s what bothers you?

I’m not trying to be an influencer. I’m just trying - period.

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Links and little tips below.

1.) Dress. Go big or go home. If you’ve got the legs, this would be my full-hog outfit. I love it. Also a great wedding after-party dress. They’ve got some beautiful other options in the same cut.

2.) Top. The perfect sparkles on top, denim on the bottom option. Scooped back too.

3.) Top & Skirt. Both on sale. Both feel very Dries Van Noten to me. Love everything that’s going on and both pieces could be worn separately too. Love a three for the price of two.

4.) Top. Affordable statement. Guaranteed a good night out in this.

5.) Pouch bag. Sophistication and playful. Comes in lots of colours. I want them all.

6.) Top. The real deal Dries. Love the cut. Love the colours. Feel like a bird. ‘If you’re a bird, I’m a bird”. Already sold out on Net-A-Porter, but a couple left here if you’re quick.

7.) Top. A classic. Can’t go wrong. Pair with 10 and you’re set for many a party.

8.) Bag. More afforable, less clunky version of the Paco Rabanne bags. What’s not to love?

9.) Skirt. I’m normally all in for a co-ord and whilst this does have a matching top (terrible styling online!), I love the colours on this skirt all on its own with a simple layer. Sheer and sparkles - winning combination.

10.) Pants. I own these in three different colourways. They fit and hang beautifully. Definition of liquid gold. You will thank me. If you want long, skinny legs, these are it! (pictured below). So much better than they look online too.

11.) Dress. Our favourite dress back in the chicest colourway of all.

Happy Holidays to come!

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Here are my picks for the season:

And here’s the shopping breakdown:

1.) Vince | 2.) COACH | 3.) Boden | 4.) SOEUR | 5.) SOEUR (again)

6.) Wyse London | 7.) Blazé Milano | 8.) Sea | 9.) Marfa Stance | 10.) Sezane

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Beauty

A tried and tested beauty regime. You can shop my favourite products here, but some news things I am loving right now:

1.) Trinny London Gel Cleanser - I love a gel cleanser and this one is working very well for me right now.

2.) Tatcha Dewy Skin Cream - Tatcha just launched my favourite moisturiser in their ‘gratitude’ size. For those who prefer something less thick, they’ve created the Tatcha Dewy Milk Moisturizer.

3.) Microneedling Treatment Current Wand - So, I got this thinking it was a microneedling kit. Turns out it’s more of a current wand which heats up the skin, but it’s actually very nice (and far more enjoyable than actual microneedling). I’m keen to try their patches too: Current Body Under Eye Patches

4.) Roz Travel Essentials Kit - I have a lot of travel coming up this tail end of the year so I am very excited about Roz’s travel essentials kit. For those who bought their full-size from my previous guide, time to stock up on their refills here: Refill Bundle.

5.) Maison d’Etto Perfume - a new scent for a new season. Always OBSESSED with Maison d’Etto. They’ve also just launched candles in all their scents. Shop the candle here: Maison d’Etto Candle.

Outdoor Gear. I’m off on a dude ranch next week so I’ve been stocking up on all the best outdoor gear - there’s no better time for hiking than in the fall:

6.) Chilliwack Bomber Kind Fleece - this looks very cozy and I know will be an investment piece.

7.) Navy Fleece Zip Up - for something a bit more fashion-based.

8.) Curly Shearling Lace Ankle Boots - both practical and cosy!

9.) Rain Jacket - we’ve had a lot of rain in NY this year so I’m getting prepared.

10.) Cropped Shearling Aviator Vest - some of my most favourite jackets and vests.

Home Comforts:

11.) Cream Sweatshirt and Sweatpants - something so indulgent about a cream track set.

12.) Jersey Long Pajama Set in Black - the softest PJs you will EVER wear - and they’re so flattering too. Short version available too: Jersey Short Pajama Set in Black.

13.) Hand Quilted Velvet Throw - I own this in several colours. The perfect accessory to elevate any bed.

14.) Washed Linen Duvet Cover - Fresh linen sheets!

15.) Geranium Bath Oil - Wouldn’t be The Bath Times without it!

Nights In:

16.) Caitlin Coastal Breakfast Tray - it might be a breakfast tray, but also for a TV dinner?

17.) Capriccio Placemat Set of 6 - new from my favourite Brooklyn store!

18.) Feldspar Teapot - I’m English after all.

19.) Marbled Breakfast Bowl - I love these bowls.

20.) Leather Backgammon Set - fires and boardgames!

Investment Pieces:

21.) Net Sustain Silver Necklace - I’m not usually an everyday jewellery person but I’ve gotten very into wearing necklaces recently.

22.) Toteme Wool-Cashmere Coat - Everyone needs one (and not not the scarf-jacket that everyone else has).

23.) Momentum Fringed Maxi Dress - From day to night. She’s a beauty with a little jazz to her.

24.) Dark Brown Belted Bucket Bag - I have this bag in the suede but the chocolate leather is beautiful.

25.) Nobilis Leather Ankle Boot - It doesn’t need an intro.

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A wedding is a celebration — not just of the couple, but of occasion dressing at its finest. It’s a chance to honour the moment and the mood with what you wear. So use it. Embrace it. And for goodness’ sake, let’s retire the floral maxi now.

Yellow & Gold

Look 1 - Dandelion Linen Dress | Pearl Folded Hoops | Yellow Wicker Clutch | Snake Kitten Heel

Look 2 - Silk Blend Maxi Dress | Sculptural Gold Earrings | Army Green Bag | Olive Slingback Pump

Look 3 - Mirror Work Dress | Pearl Drop Earrings | Knit Tote Bag | Satin Ankle Strap Heels

Look 4 - Strapless Midi Dress | Gold Diamond Tennis Bracelet | Mini Bag | Lace and Leather Sandals

Green & Blue

Look 1 - Plaid Midi Dress | Mini Hoops | Moss Agate Ring | Trilogy Ring Stack | Retro Clutch | Satin Slingback Pumps

Look 2 - Green Knit Midi | Hoops | Gold Bangle Stack | Embroidered Purse | Satin Pump

Look 3 - Satin Halterneck Midi Dress | Earrings | Shell Clutch | Thong Sandals

Look 4 - Blue Halter Fringe Dress | Earrings | Chain Mail Shoulder Bag | Silver Heels

Look 5 - Green Off-the-shoulder Satin Dress | Statement Necklace | Knit Tote | Snake Leather Sandals

Black

Look 1 - Fringe Halter Neck Dress | Earrings | Mini Bag | Raffia Leather Mules

Look 2 - Maxi Dress | Long Earrings | Sphere Leather Tote | Cream Pumps

Look 3 - Strapless Satin Midi Dress | Baguette Necklace | Sapphire Pendant | Satin Clutch | Embellished Slingback Pumps

Look 4 - Draped Silk Maxi Dress | Folded Earring | Cocktail Ring | Velvet Bucket Bag | PVC Mules

Look 5 - Wool Blend Midi Dress | Polka Dot Tights | Silver Collar Necklace | Knot Bag | PVC Slingbacks

Red & Pink

Look 1 - Satin Duster | Maxi Slip Dress | Earrings | Suede Pochette | Patent Leather Mules

Look 2 - Off the Shoulder Maxi | Shell Necklace | Juno Mini Bag | Red Lace Up Sandals

Look 3 - Organza Sleeveless Dress | Floral Stud Earrings | Mini Beaded Tote | PVC Slingback Pumps

Look 4 - Strapless Maxi Dress | Beaded Necklace | Suede Pochette | Sparkle Stretch Sandals

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Earlier this month, I got an email from a client whose sole reason for writing was to say thank you. Someone else on my team got told they were “like a magic fairy arriving in their life making everything easy”. Another client recently replied to my request for a referral testimonial “I would love to! You know that we love singing your praises at every opportunity!”. It’s touched me. Why? Because it’s so rare in what I do.

Don’t get me wrong - where we’ve netted out today is with some REALLY great clients. Clients who send a little ‘thank you’ every time an opportunity pays off - or in some cases, send an individual, hand-painted, handwritten letter in the post to every member of the team to say thank you for a great event. Thank you might seem obvious. But it’s not.

Until recently, I would have said that the life of a PR was a pretty thankless one. I’ve poured my heart and soul into getting clients partnerships, opportunities and recognition they would have NEVER secured on their own - only to be completely forgotten. When the photographer’s assistant’s wife’s brother is tagged in the celebratory Instagram post, but the origin of the opportunity is carefully, deliberately omitted. Why? Ego.

As far as I’m concerned, there’s two life cycles a successful, working PR X Client relationship can take:

1.) The client who recognises the graft, the wins, the momentum - and sticks with you. They understand that, like any relationship, there are highs and lows, but ultimately you work hard and better together.

2.) The client who gains recognition off the back of your work, then decides they’re now too important, too ‘good’ and chase something (supposedly) ‘shinier’ or cheaper elsewhere.

For years, I let the “number 2s” dominate my life. Clients who happily rode the wave of your work, only for their egos to take over at the allure of a flashier promise, overlooking, and ultimately undervaluing, the loyalty, trust, and the partnership we’d built. It was never about capability - it was about mindset.

I was recently speaking to someone about what ‘cool’ really looks like? Is it your client list? Is it what you do for them? Well, yes. But for anyone caught in the spiral of self-doubt questioning your rates, your relevance, your right to take up space, we came to this conclusion: the real power lies in being able to choose the people you work with. In being able to stand your ground and say goodbye. In affording health care. In building a business with longevity. In protecting your team. In being trusted, respected, and relied upon by the right clients - the good ones.

Today, I’m lucky enough to be surrounded by those clients. The ones who see the work, value the partnership, and stick around for the long game. That’s not just cool. That’s everything.

So, no. PR isn’t the most thankless job. Not when you’re working with the right people. When the collaboration is real, the work is fun, the reward is shared, and the wins are far more satisfying than a fleeting Instagram tag. That craving for credit? That’s just your ‘need to please’ (as a PR) flaring up in the wrong relationships. In the right ones, you’re too busy building something real to even notice.

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As seen: Jeans (these are the BEST jeans I’ve bought in a long time!) | White Tee (own it fives times over)| Shoes (perfect summer slide)| Sunglasses (on sale now!)

There’s a reason it’s never gone out of fashion. The so-called "American uniform" — denim (full jeans or cut offs), a white (or black) tee, and flip flops (or sandals) — endures because it gets everything right without trying too hard. It’s effortless, democratic, and endlessly adaptable. Born out of American ease and rebellion, this trio has stood the test of time not just for its simplicity, but for the quiet confidence it exudes. Whether you're running errands, heading to the beach, or just want to feel comfortable, there's something unbeatable about the crispness of a simple tee, the reliable cool of well-worn denim, and the carefree ease of sandals.

This posts comes by request for my ‘perfect tee’. For those wondering, it’s linked below. I like my tees linen.

White Basics

Links: Eyelet Tank | Crewneck Tank | Boxy Tee | Lined Rib Tee | Scallop Trim Top | Linen Tee | Linen Halter Top | Denim Shorts | Sandals | Ring Stack | Necklace

Black Basics

Links: Cotton Boy Tee | Snap Tank | Knit Tank | Boxy Tee | Ribbed Tank | Linen Tank | Earrings | Black Sandals | Necklace | Perfume

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You see, I’ve always been an all-rounder. I’m ‘good’ at a lot of things, not an expert at few things. For example, I enjoy fashion, but I’m not beholden to it (nor the egos within it), I attempt interior design but I don’t know if it’s any good, I sing but I never took it anywhere (a bit of a regret), I was pretty nifty on various sports fields but never specialised, I love being in the water and I’m fascinated by the underwater world but I don’t live anywhere near it, I enjoy writing but took the PR route instead of the journalism one.

In contrast, my husband has a deep, lifelong passion - cars. You might not think that qualifies, but actually it provides an outlet in every possible moment that might otherwise succumb to boredom. Whether he’s reading the latest car review, driving out with friends on Sunday mornings, designing his dream Porsche online, cleaning his current fleet or watching classic car auctions online as his next investment - it will ALWAYS give him something to do. I don’t have any such passion.

In recent years, it’s led me to try new hobbies. Last year I did a pottery course. This year I took up figure skating. The reality is though, I don’t think I’m meant to be ‘a master’; I’m a very regular ‘Jack’. This doesn’t make me any less interesting, or boring. In fact, I can hold pretty high level conversations across a multitude of topics - hotels, design trends, musicals, childbirth (for someone who’s never had a baby), whale species… and now, even cars! It just means in that moment of ‘what shall I do now?’, there isn’t an inner calling driving me to research or participate in a certain thing that ‘the master of something’ might.

It’s taken me a while to understand that there’s a quiet but crucial difference between relaxing and being bored. Relaxing is about easing the tension, softening into the moment. Boredom, on the other hand, is a kind of restlessness — the itch of wanting something more but not knowing what. For years I mistook stillness for serenity, when really I was just unoccupied and uninspired. Doing nothing isn’t always restful; sometimes, it’s just... empty.

But, in trying to understand the balance of this, I have to say, it’s totally changed my life. For those with deep-rooted passions, boredom may rarely knock. For the rest of us — the all-rounders, the dabblers, the curious generalists — the trick is to find meaning in the small things. I set myself little projects every weekend - painting a lampshade here and there, thoroughly researching and planning a trip, hosting and tablescaping a dinner party, writing a Substack, simply ‘antiquing’. Less about mastering, more about simply enjoying.

And perhaps that’s the point. While some are fuelled by a singular, blazing passion, others — like me — are moved by lots of flickers of interest. I used to think I lacked depth because I hadn’t gone all-in on one pursuit, but I’ve come to realise that having a curious mind, one that dances between ideas and interests, is its own kind of mastery. It means life is never static; there’s always something new to try, learn, or make. So no — I’m not bored. I’m just busy being ‘Jack’ - and there’s a quiet joy in that.

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But, I’ve included some other finds along the way.

Bonne vacances!

The Stripe One

Bikini Top | Bikini Bottom | Dress | Sandals | Bag | Earrings | Sunglasses

The Hamptons One

Swimsuit | Earrings | Shorts | Sandals | Bag | Headscarf | Sunglasses

The Sophisticated One

Swimsuit | Crochet Skirt | Shoes | Bag | Necklace | Sunglasses

The Boho One

Bikini Top | Bikini Bottom | Sandals | Skirt | Bag | Necklace | Sunglasses

The Classic One

Bikini Top | Bikini Bottom | Bag | Sunglasses | Necklace | Dress | Sandals

There was no light bulb moment, there was no big sit-down where we ruled it out, it wasn’t as a result of a terrible experience or because we were told we couldn’t. In fact, we got married with ‘a plan’ to have two: baby number 1 in Year 2 of living in New York, and baby number 2 in Year 5. We’d get them both American passports and we’d move back home to the UK. Well, that plan got ripped up.

Year 2 came around and we felt like we weren’t ready. We agreed to revisit the conversation the following year. Year 3, Year 4.. we just never felt like it was the moment. I can’t tell you exactly when and how, but the narrative shifted from delaying the process to not starting it. I guess, somewhere, it cemented the more we started voicing it.

Naturally, people ask why. We’ve asked ourselves why? I’ve been striving to figure out why ever since. In the search for reasoning, we attached ourselves to things that resonated - the environment felt relatable. Exactly as my Vogue piece says, “I am part of a generation that bittersweetly saw Sir David Attenborough flaunt the beauty of this planet, before the likes of Greta Thunberg revealed its ugliness”. But as we sat with the decision and got more confident in owning it, it’s become clear that above all, I think it’s simply that we’re happy with our life as it is. Why does it need to change?

Well, because society and history and biology and norms would tell you that it has to. What I have enjoyed in becoming somewhat of a ‘spokeswoman’ for being childless is the role of confession-booth I’ve assumed for mothers and non-mothers alike. In a world where it’s becoming increasingly difficult to fall pregnant and people are stretching science beyond capabilities ever achieved before, mothers are scared to talk about the bad days, or admit that it might not be what they thought it would be. In contrast, in a world that continues to project the ‘norm’ as a heterosexual family of four, people feel inadequate if they choose not to adopt this path. I have loved and sympathised hearing all the stories; they vary hugely. They are all special. They are all real.

In the same way that people are advocating and normalising the struggles to fall pregnant (which, for the record, I wholeheartedly support), I want to standardise a childfree option. I recently heard someone say that their lives and social life were so surrounded by children that their decision to have them was so they’d ’fit in’, when in reality, they might prefer a child-free life. No one should feel pressurised into having children.

And so, if you are one of these people, or one of the people on the fence, here are some things I’ve learnt along the way:

People will always ask ‘when’ you’re having children, or ‘how many’ children you have. ‘I’m not’ or ‘I don’t’ is a full sentence. You don’t have to justify it. The response will be ‘oh, not yet’. Ignore it.

Being child-free allows you to have the best of time with your friends - contrary to what you might think. Every parent wants a break - to be themselves, to let their hair down, to do whatever the hell they want. Be the person they do that with.

Being childfree does not mean you dislike children. Speaking as someone with five godchildren and eight nieces and nephews, I hope to make the greatest impact on their lives to the best of my capabilities. Without children of my own, they are the people I want to spoil.

Your friendships will be so diverse. You aren’t contained to the playgrounds or the school gates or the sports fields. Speak and learn from people from all walks of life and invest in those relationships that feed you. Our friends range from 25-65 and we see them all regularly.

You get to pick the best bits. One of my favourite things to do is take my niece to school when I’m in London. Is part of me striving to understand a little feeling of motherhood? Sure, but that’s ok. I love to buy my goddaughter a new outfit ahead of each summer. I can’t wait to play tennis with my godson. You can indulge your relationships with the little people in your life. And, because you’re probably able to give more (time, commitment, support, love), you’ll enjoy doing it all the more.

Don’t feel bad about indulging. You love to travel, you don’t want your body to change, you enjoy time to yourself, you want a marriage focused on your other half, you don’t want your life to change, you enjoy having more disposable income. These are all valid reasons - share them, or don’t, but don’t stop yourself from satiating these things. (To be clear, I’m not saying you don’t have these things if you’re a mother, I’m just sharing potentially intrusive thoughts).

And, full disclosure: it’s possible to feel maternal and womanly but not want children. I wonder every day what it might feel like to be pregnant. I regularly mourn that I will never share that big announcement. I’m sad I won’t be able to appoint godparents. I will never know the love of being a (human) mother. I want someone to love me unconditionally. But I can want all those things but also be ok with my decision not to want children.

Perhaps, actually, there doesn’t need to be a WHY.

I should disclose that, on the whole, I have good skin - highly sensitive and on the drier side, but good. I’ve never suffered from acne and with the exception of a hormonal spot here and there, I’m pretty lucky.

Whilst Katherine tended to me, I discussed my concerns. In November last year, I did another round of Fraxel laser (full report here). Except this time, I purged - a lot! I felt like my epidermis had been totally disrupted and I could not seem to get it to settle again. I explained all this to Katherine along with my current skincare regime.

Living in America, retinol is perhaps the single most-suggested and lauded ingredient. I have been trying to ‘get on board’ for years. With some heavy reactions to retinol (I know, I know, you have to ease into it, but I’m talking big reactions!) under my skin, I began to explore other trendy ingredients. Whatever I was doing was not working!

Katherine suggested I strip it all back - and she shared some new product suggestions with me. I ordered them the same day. She advised that I phase a few products out or lower my ‘dosage’ (vitamin C being one), so I’m currently migrating or mixing - but it’s working. It didn’t take long for my skin to recover, and I’m very happy with the results!

Like most women in their late thirties+ starting to see some very visual changes, I’m clinging on hard; swayed by every fancy-sounding potion, following numerous aesthetic doctors and trying any lotion that might remove years off my face overnight (obviously!), I’m slowly coming to realise that when it comes to skincare, maybe less is more. Or at least, it might be for me.

There seems to be two approaches to skincare out there: one whereby powerful (sometimes too powerful) products play the anti-aging role, and another whereby the approach is more holistic and natural ensuring dermis optimisation, leaving anti-aging concerns mostly to other mediums (botox, etc). I guess it’s a personal choice for everyone, but as someone who cannot seem to make strong skincare work for them, my choice is somewhat presented for me. Only, after the last two months, I’m finally beginning to make peace with it.

My (new) skincare regime below. Anything with a * next to it is an absolute MUST in my opinion:

AM:

1.) La Roche Posay Toleriane Cleanser - gentle and foaming to get the night’s sleep off your face. It’s cheap and it’s good - I see it recommended by doctors a lot too.

2.) Exuviance Toner - this was one of Katherine’s suggestions. Hydrating and soothing for sensitive skin.

3.) C E Ferulic - I’ve used this for a while (and I do love it), but it’s now been ‘prescribed’ in moderation - Vitamin C is too strong an ingredient for my skin.

OR - in its place, I am phasing in this Allies of Skin brightening serum to address dark spots. I will let you know how I get on. Another Katherine recommendation. *

4.) Sturm Hyaluronic Serum - it’s expensive, but I do like it. There’s plenty of other options out there though. When the purse is tight, I use Medik8’s Hyaluronic instead.

5.) Susanne Kaufman Eye Rescue - this has caffeine in it and I love the cold roller feeling in the morning on my eyes. Have used this for years. *

6.) Allies of Skin recovery cream - It’s a gentle moisturiser that feels like it does the job. A bit of a funny consistency, almost probiotic, but it feels nourishing and I like the dewiness it gives.

7.) Isdin Tinted SPF - honestly, I wear this as a foundation now instead of any make-up. It’s really light - doesn’t feel like a heavy SPF AT ALL. *

PM:

1.) La Roche Posay Toleriane strikes again - this time in a cream form. It feels really nice before bed (you can swap AM and PM around if you prefer too).

2.) Dr Hauschka Clarifying Toner - it’s a spritz toner that seems to just prep the skin before any heavy layers go on top before bed.

3.) Estee Lauder Night Repair - call me basic, but it always gets great reviews and I agree with them. *

4.) Tatcha Dewy Skin Cream - terrible packaging but I really love the product. It’s definitely a thicker cream, so better at night, but I love how it goes on. I’ve just run out and I’m missing it as I wait for my next order. A definite recommendation. *

OR - Bamford Face Oil - this might be one of my all-time favourites. It smells INCREDIBLE and my face always feels so dewy afterwards. I use this as a bit of a ‘treat me’ evening (not because it’s expensive, but because it feels so luxurious). I also put it on sometimes to give an extra glow if I’m going out or before I put make-up on. You won’t regret buying this. **

5.) Tata Harper Eye Cream - I always end up getting eye cream in my eyes so at least this doesn’t sting.

Sturm Clarifying Mask - in the bath, once or twice a week. I like the consistency and clay-ness of it - but it doesn’t dry out like a clay mask which I enjoy.

Sturm Spot Treatment - essentially a tea tree gel but it’s nice and anti-inflammatory.

The Other Bits

Bamford Bath Oil - I wax lyrical about this. There is no other bath oil that has lived up to this. I use a capful of it in my bath every night. It leaves a perfectly silky residue after you’ve towelled off - not in a sticky, clingy way but in a beautifully moisturised way. Can’t recommend it more. Multiple scents available; I like to mix them up each night. **

Katrafay Body Scrub - some friends gave me this for my birthday this year and I’m really loving it. It’s the closest to ‘mudding’ I think I’ll ever get. I feel so smooth for days afterwards. *

Roz Shampoo & Conditioner - full disclosure, I haven’t used this yet but I have heard great things and they’ve won lots of awards. Just waiting to finish my current stuff (which actually I don’t recommend, but I don’t like waste).

Omnilux Infrared Light Mask - I use this as often as I remember. I actually find it incredibly relaxing and it’s amazing what a ten minute time-out can do. It’s part relaxation, but anti-aging. *

Maison d’Etto - the best for last! I am obsessed with this brand. I am SO picky when it comes to perfume but these are perfectly masculine but not heavy. Feminine but not floral. All the scents are inspired by horses. Karat is my favourite. It’s not cheap (in fact it’s really expensive), but one or two sprays a day is all you need and it’s worth every dime! **

Enjoy!

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