Are you boring?

Perhaps one of the greatest lessons my husband’s ever taught me is that ‘only boring people get bored’. The first time he retorted the saying back to me when I proclaimed ‘I’m bored’, it offended me. It somewhat exacerbated some internalised thoughts about how I didn’t have any hobbies, any passions.

You see, I’ve always been an all-rounder. I’m ‘good’ at a lot of things, not an expert at few things. For example, I enjoy fashion, but I’m not beholden to it (nor the egos within it), I attempt interior design but I don’t know if it’s any good, I sing but I never took it anywhere (a bit of a regret), I was pretty nifty on various sports fields but never specialised, I love being in the water and I’m fascinated by the underwater world but I don’t live anywhere near it, I enjoy writing but took the PR route instead of the journalism one.

In contrast, my husband has a deep, lifelong passion - cars. You might not think that qualifies, but actually it provides an outlet in every possible moment that might otherwise succumb to boredom. Whether he’s reading the latest car review, driving out with friends on Sunday mornings, designing his dream Porsche online, cleaning his current fleet or watching classic car auctions online as his next investment - it will ALWAYS give him something to do. I don’t have any such passion.

In recent years, it’s led me to try new hobbies. Last year I did a pottery course. This year I took up figure skating. The reality is though, I don’t think I’m meant to be ‘a master’; I’m a very regular ‘Jack’. This doesn’t make me any less interesting, or boring. In fact, I can hold pretty high level conversations across a multitude of topics - hotels, design trends, musicals, childbirth (for someone who’s never had a baby), whale species… and now, even cars! It just means in that moment of ‘what shall I do now?’, there isn’t an inner calling driving me to research or participate in a certain thing that ‘the master of something’ might.

It’s taken me a while to understand that there’s a quiet but crucial difference between relaxing and being bored. Relaxing is about easing the tension, softening into the moment. Boredom, on the other hand, is a kind of restlessness — the itch of wanting something more but not knowing what. For years I mistook stillness for serenity, when really I was just unoccupied and uninspired. Doing nothing isn’t always restful; sometimes, it’s just... empty.

But, in trying to understand the balance of this, I have to say, it’s totally changed my life. For those with deep-rooted passions, boredom may rarely knock. For the rest of us — the all-rounders, the dabblers, the curious generalists — the trick is to find meaning in the small things. I set myself little projects every weekend - painting a lampshade here and there, thoroughly researching and planning a trip, hosting and tablescaping a dinner party, writing a Substack, simply ‘antiquing’. Less about mastering, more about simply enjoying.

And perhaps that’s the point. While some are fuelled by a singular, blazing passion, others — like me — are moved by lots of flickers of interest. I used to think I lacked depth because I hadn’t gone all-in on one pursuit, but I’ve come to realise that having a curious mind, one that dances between ideas and interests, is its own kind of mastery. It means life is never static; there’s always something new to try, learn, or make. So no — I’m not bored. I’m just busy being ‘Jack’ - and there’s a quiet joy in that.