10 Things I’m A Snob About
Or in Valentine's Day language, an ode to all the things I love
We can’t be talking about ‘Second Marriages’ on Valentine’s Day, so we’re keeping things light this week. No introduction needed, the title speaks for itself. My 'non-negotiables' in life (in no particular order).
Image: L’Appartement 4F
1.) Butter
Always French, always salted.
2.) Croissants
I blame my parents for this one. Growing up in Switzerland, we used to cross the border into France every Sunday for our weekly binge. Ever since, croissants have mostly been ruined for me. Buttery but not too oily, a pulled doughy consistency in the middle, the right amount of flake but not flakey, ‘crushable’ not rigid, and ideally warm out of the oven with a release of steam when torn apart. I don’t think the perfect croissant exists outside of France, but if you want to try: l’Appartement 4F in Brooklyn, Aux Merveilleux de Fred in the West Village and Hudson Roastery in Hudson.
3.) Matcha
It gets a bad rap because most places can’t make it properly. It shouldn’t look like dirty pond water, nor should it taste like it. Ready-made matcha should not exist, sweetener should never be added and your choice of mylk does matter. Yanni’s does the best whisked matcha in New York City, Matchaful is the best grade powder. Jenki for those in the UK.
4.) Grammar
The granddaughter of a teacher, grammar sits in the same camp as manners. Use it. We all make typos, we all work too quickly, but COME ON! This is the moment you download Grammarly if you haven’t already.
For the record:
They're vs. Their vs. There
Your vs. You're
Its vs. It's
Affect vs. Effect
Me vs. I
To vs. Too
Dos and Don'ts!!
Lose vs. Loose
Plural weekdays do not have an apostrophe!
StationEry vs. stationAry
5.) Pillows
Always down, never synthetic. I am known to regularly bring my own. Guilty pleasure: my all-time favourite pillow is from IKEA 😬 (comfort can be affordable).
6.) Ice Cream
For over a decade, describing me as ‘vanilla’ would have been accurate - three scoops of it for every dessert, to be precise. Boring? Maybe, but it does mean I’m rather well versed in the essentials. Best supermarket ice cream: Ben & Jerry’s and Häagen Dazs. Top tips: do not keep these in the freezer for longer than a month. When you see ice building up in the tub and it smells like it’s absorbed the soggy cardboard container, it’s because it has. Time to throw it out. Similarly, don’t let it melt and re-freeze and NEVER put it in the microwave. Parlours: Morgensterns (NYC) and Fortunes Ice Cream (Upstate) get my vote. Sorry, Van Leeuwen. Call me controversial!
7.) Hotel Service
I lived and travelled in Asia for many years. If you ever want to experience exceptional hospitality, it’s there - and at Amangiri. I’ve also worked with hotels since the very first day of my professional life. As a result, I’m a travel snob. Nothing grates me more than inhospitable people working in hospitality - whether it’s the coffee shop or the five-star private island. Service takes creativity, it takes intrigue, it takes CARE; if you don’t possess those traits, it’s time to hand in your notice.
8.) Table Manners
It starts with a correctly laid table (kitchen roll, or paper towels for the Americans, is not considered a napkin), finishes with a united knife and fork, and considers every moment in between from the way you hold your cutlery, to the clanging of the silverware on your teeth (it shouldn’t!), to the (unbecoming) slurping of your soup and the delicateness of your napkin dab in a moment of need.
9.) Spa Treatments
If I can do it at home, why am I paying for it? Don’t leave a mask on me for 20 minutes during a facial and leave the room - a foot massage at the very least. Yes, I want callous removal during my pedicure. And, if I take the time to tell you (or write down) that I want you to focus on a pain-point during my massage, please, focus on the pain-point!
10.) Bath Oil
It wouldn’t be The Bath Times without a mention of bath time. Bath oil is fairly hard to come by in New York, it would seem. I stock up so much when I’m home that hand luggage is out of the question and any border control officer would think I’m smuggling. I’ve done my fair share of quality testing and there’s a clear winner. One capful of Bamford bath oil per soak makes the perfect blend. It leaves you saturated all over even after you’ve toweled yourself off (but not oily). Valentine’s gift anyone?
Would love to hear some of yours…
Omg love every single one of those!
My mum SWEARS by an IKEA feather pillow. Not sure if it’s the same one you have but it’s 100% down (rather than feather and down) and she sings its praises regularly. I also take our pillows with us on any UK break by car.
On the croissant note... my greatest disappointment is an ‘artisan’ croissant that is so crisp it shatters like glass and shards of pastry fly across the room with each bite.
Hotels are my biggest one I’d say. I’m completely obsessive about attention to detail and guest experience and I often check-out with a long list of helpful feedback points about everything from the placement of the pillows at turndown to the ambience at breakfast (whether they care is another matter...)
For me it’s also natural fibres/materials. I cannot and would not wear an acrylic jumper or coat, it MUST be wool. Likewise with shoes - the idea of wearing sweaty pleather 🤢